“The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow.”
John Maxwell
Do you work after work hours, even sometimes at the weekends? There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Most of the time, we all do what feels right. In the past, I was heavily against working overtime. When I had to, I used to complain to my family and kept thinking about the people around me who got paid as much as I did, and who didn’t work as hard as I did. Not only would I feel angry but also, I would feel unhappy. This is another example of how we become unhappy by comparing ourselves with others. Finally, I learned to focus on myself, which took me more than ten years. I still work overtime. However, I’m happy to be able to complete my tasks because I see it as my responsibility. The question is, how can we work longer hours without feeling annoyed and still have time for our ourselves and our families?
The first mistake we all make is trying to separate our work and personal life. However, it is not possible to unplug our minds after work. Our personal lives impact our work life as much as our work lives impact our personal lives. So, we need to learn to be flexible and adapt to the new circumstances at home and at work instead of focusing on the idea of work-life balance. For example, if we have urgent customer deliverables or delays in our projects, we can check our e-mails and work on the uncompleted tasks after spending some time with our family. So, even if we end up working several hours at home, giving a break will refresh our minds and help us to approach our work with a positive attitude. If not, our minds will keep thinking about unfinished tasks and unanswered e-mails.
The second mistake we make is trying to avoid the issues and late tasks. When we go home, we can stop thinking about work; however, the next day, the same issues and even more tasks will be waiting for us. So, regardless of the time, weekdays or weekends, the best thing is to get things done and empty our minds. This will allow us to feel in control instead of feeling lost and confused at work. At least that’s what works for me.
The third mistake we make is being annoyed by others at work. In the work environment, we have all kinds of people, and not all of them feel the same responsibility and ownership of their job. This was the hardest to learn because wherever I have worked, there have been people who have found time to chat for hours about non-work-related issues, watch YouTube videos, shop online, study for their degrees, and come to work 9:00 am and leave at 3:00 pm. I accepted this reality, and I can’t change this fact. So, when I struggled to finish my tasks after a long working day and brought work home, I couldn’t help myself and hated my life.
Finally, this year, I learned to focus on my job and myself. Everyone is responsible for their actions, and if they feel comfortable the way they spend their time at work, it is their problem. It sounds simple, but it is not easy to apply. Back in February, my husband and I took a course called The science of well-being, which had a huge impact on us. It showed us that most of the time, people were unhappy not because of themselves but because of the other people around them. For example, they observed employee happiness and satisfaction before and after sharing with them how much their colleagues were making. If their colleagues were making more than them, their happiness and performance level changed drastically. The course shared many other eye-opening scientific studies and surveys that woke me up to the fact that that’s what I was doing all these years.
Another surprising example was in one study, and they found out that if your neighbor purchases a new car, most likely you will change your car in six months. This is another example of how we let others impact our life and happiness. If we can learn not to focus on others’ salaries, homes, and attitudes, we will have better lives.
Another mistake we make is trying to keep things in our minds. Countless researchers suggest that when we remember to send an e-mail, buy something, and plan for a meeting, or when we feel angry, we should write it down and empty our minds. They even recommend to keep a notepad next to our bed, so we can jot down anything which pops into our mind. For example, over the past few weeks, I had to work in the evenings and weekends because I had so many tasks that I needed to review, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving them undone. On Friday morning, I woke up at 4:00 am and found myself thinking about work. I tried, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. I woke my husband up around 5:00 am, since he has 7:00 am meetings on Fridays. We decided to take a quick walk to get some fresh air. We were both happy because we started our day early, planned our day, and wrote down what we needed to do. The best part was I didn’t think about anything or anyone else other than having a productive day to be able to enjoy our weekend.
Overall, it is all up to us how we approach our work and perform it. If it helps us feel better and accomplish our task more efficiently, it is Ok to work overtime. As long as we understand our responsibilities and have an optimistic approach to our work, we will eventually show our differences and feel successful and fulfilled with our jobs and lives. In the end, we have one life to live, so we should focus on ourselves and make the best of our work and home life instead of trying to find a work-life balance or comparing ourselves with others. As John Maxwell says, “The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow.”
I’m a Project Manager with a deep passion for both professional and personal growth. Designing and building the next generation of vehicles is incredibly rewarding, but it comes with its challenges—especially for someone as emotionally invested as I am!