When we found out we are expecting a baby, the only thing I could think of was her health. I just wanted to have a healthy baby. I did not worry about if our baby was a boy or girl or the changes my body had to go through. I was assuming that all moms might have a similar approach to what I have; however, through the discussion forums, which you can get through pregnancy apps, I felt like I’m from a different world. The worries and discussions of the pregnant moms were quite interesting and made me feel lucky to have our first child when we’re wiser and more mature. I call this becoming a mom when we are mature enough to know our responsibilities.
Most of us have no idea what we are getting into before we have children. Even earlier than that, we aren’t even aware of what to expect and feel when we find out that we expect a baby. Based on our ages and maturity level, how we feel about pregnancy and having a kid can be very different. Here are some things to think about when you are having your first child in your thirties:
Healthy pregnancy:
I believe that this should be the most important thing for all new moms. Not only does our baby’s health matter, but also how we take care of ourselves makes a huge difference. I’ve been living in the USA for the past six years and had never been to a doctor before. I was very healthy, exercised regularly, and ate quite well. So, I did not want to spend a dime at the doctor’s office. The first sudden change was my doctor’s visits. Since I’m pregnant, I want to go to the doctor to be sure our baby is healthy and growing as expected.
Our Body Changes:
We all know that our bodies will be transformed during and after our pregnancy. Even though we don’t have control over certain changes, we can still improve the process and try to gain only the necessary and acceptable weight for our babies. What made me sad is that so many pregnant ladies were emotionally and mentally very upset and losing sleep about their look and weight gain. It is not a beauty contest or competition, so our goal should be to have a healthy pregnancy and accept our weight gain. Once we have our kids, we can go back to our routine and have a fit body. At least, this is my plan. I accepted that I would have some stretch marks and weight gain. As long as my baby and I are healthy, this situation won’t bother me.
Work-Life:
I’m one of the lucky moms-to-be. I have a decent income and a job that I like. Even though the past six months were very stressful, my pregnancy did not impact my performance. My concern was the programs I managed and their milestones and how their dates would align with my due date. I will be away from work for three months, so before my maternity leave, I’m doing my best to plan my program schedules, and I’m trying to manage my workload. When we have a job we deeply care about with a good income, we also think about our job situations more. So, this is one of the downsides of having a kid at a later age. When I look at the forum discussions, some people didn’t have jobs or relied on their parents and partners. So, it is one of the biggest challenges for young moms.
Screening for Syndromes (Down, Edward, and Patau):
This is one of the challenging subjects, and it can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, genes, and family history. I did not go through any screening because the result of the tests wouldn’t change my mind. Besides, these tests give a certain percentage of the possibilities that our babies may have any of these syndromes; they are not 100% accurate. Even thinking about it was scary, so I searched a little bit and found out that having any of these syndromes is increasing day by day. I saw some posts that some parents ended their pregnancy based on their screening results; it broke my heart, but I respect everyone’s decision. The only thing I can do is to pray for a healthy kid for everyone, including myself.
What to eat, drink, or smoke:
The things that are not good for our body are not good for our babies. So, I was shocked to see the discussion forums because some of the moms ask each other how many glasses of wine are OK to drink or if they can smoke marijuana. I don’t smoke and drink. Even if I did, I would stop once I decided to have a kid. Our babies are very vulnerable, so smoking, drinking, and eating unhealthily may harm them. I wish everyone was more mindful because we are all blessed to have a kid, and we should be grateful and take care of them well.
On the other hand, I learned that some healthy-looking food could be harmful during pregnancy, such as green papaya and hibiscus tea. I love green papaya salad and ate each time I go to a Thai restaurant or even made it home. So I was glad I found out about this early in my pregnancy and stopped consuming it. After this it became a habit for me to search what I can eat or not during pregnancy.
Baby Registry and Gifts
I was surprised to see so many new moms were obsessed with their baby registries and baby showers. Many of them were very upset not receiving the gifts or not having many attendees for their baby showers. To me, no one has to buy anything for my kids, including my parents and my husband’s parents. It is my child, and I’m fully responsible for whatever she needs.
Overall, I see more benefits having a kid when we are older because, as we age, we get wiser and worry about more important things. My only concern is being healthy and having a healthy baby. I will continue to enjoy my pregnancy journey until we finally meet our daughter in December.
I’m a Project Manager with a deep passion for both professional and personal growth. Designing and building the next generation of vehicles is incredibly rewarding, but it comes with its challenges—especially for someone as emotionally invested as I am!