Finally, someone called me a high performer. I know I’m a high performer, but it still feels good to hear it from others. Even though I shouldn’t need anyone to tell me these words, I still would like to hear them. I’m still learning not to feel elated when I’m praised or not to feel discouraged when I’m criticized. However, I’m not where I want to be yet.
Last year, I accomplished all of my targets. I believe my supervisor and my manager are happy with my performance, but I still want to hear their genuine positive feedback and appreciation. If they do not show appreciation during my performance review, would it hurt my feelings and demotivate me? Most likely, it would. The question is, why isn’t it enough for me to be aware of my value, contribution and hard work, and just take in their point of view, positive or negative, without feeling any extreme happiness or frustration? There is nothing wrong with feeling this way as long as we are aware of our emotional state and not letting our emotions control us.
Scientists call this skill self-awareness, which is the first element of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness means not only being aware of our personality, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and our value but also seeing ourselves, our attitude and actions as others see us. If we are aware of our capabilities, hearing an appreciative comment will not make us jump for joy or hearing negative feedback will not make us miserable. So, if we are a highly self-aware person, our response will be the same for both situations. We are still the same person. Our value and our contribution to our work have the same value; it is just feedback, which may or may not be accurate. So, we don’t need to overreact based on someone else’s opinion. However, we can honestly assess the feedback and try to understand where they are coming from. I know it is easier said than done, but it is the only way to grow. If not, we will be experiencing a similar emotional fluctuation again and again.
The good news is that I’m not the only one who needs to improve my emotional intelligence and self-awareness. According to the Harvard Business review’s nearly five-year research on the subject, they’ve discovered that although 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10 to 15% actually are. At least, I accepted that I have to work on this skill for my own well-being.
Overall, this year I decided to take all the available emotional intelligence courses and read all the available books and articles. The first course I’ve started taking is called ‘ Empathy and Emotional Intelligence at Work. ‘ Berkley University is providing this online course through edX, which is an online course platform. My goal is to learn to manage my emotions and make better decisions at work and for my personal life.
Many of us strive for a meaningful life and self-growth. However, most of the time, we avoid receiving feedback because we do not know how to handle it. I suggest that for the next few weeks, we seek feedback and try to understand the reasons behind it without labeling it negatively or positively. In doing so, we might be surprised to see the enormous benefits to our lives.
I’m a Project Manager with a deep passion for both professional and personal growth. Designing and building the next generation of vehicles is incredibly rewarding, but it comes with its challenges—especially for someone as emotionally invested as I am!