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As 2024 approached, my husband realized he hadn’t read a single book all year (though he enjoys articles and news). Scrolling through the library app, he discovered “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow.

A few years ago, I’d seen the recorded video of Randy Pausch’s last lecture. A highly successful professor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Pausch poured his heart into his book and final lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. He aimed not only to share how he achieved his childhood dreams but also to leave meaningful life lessons for his three very young children, who wouldn’t have many memories with him. Since my husband could not put the book down, I decided to read too.

Reading the book was an emotional journey. Each page served as a reminder of life’s fragility and the importance of cherishing every moment. Pausch’s story, about dreaming big and achieving them made me re-evaluate my dreams and goals. His accomplishments inspired me. Even while battling illness, his energy and determination in delivering his last lecture for his students and community were truly amazing.

He also helped me to see what we are doing wrong at work with his sentence “ Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.” I felt like this is what we did last year during my project 😊. Now I know more than ever that less is more because I believe we accomplished more results with fewer people in my project this year.

I highly recommend both the book and the last lecture video. They serve as powerful reminders that life is short. We should strive to make the most of it, just as Randy Pausch did by sharing his inspirational story with the world during his last days.

When we found out we are expecting a baby, the only thing I could think of was her health. I just wanted to have a healthy baby. I did not worry about if our baby was a boy or girl or the changes my body had to go through. I was assuming that all moms might have a similar approach to what I have; however, through the discussion forums, which you can get through pregnancy apps, I felt like I’m from a different world. The worries and discussions of the pregnant moms were quite interesting and made me feel lucky to have our first child when we’re wiser and more mature. I call this becoming a mom when we are mature enough to know our responsibilities.

Most of us have no idea what we are getting into before we have children. Even earlier than that, we aren’t even aware of what to expect and feel when we find out that we expect a baby. Based on our ages and maturity level, how we feel about pregnancy and having a kid can be very different. Here are some things to think about when you are having your first child in your thirties:

Healthy pregnancy:
I believe that this should be the most important thing for all new moms. Not only does our baby’s health matter, but also how we take care of ourselves makes a huge difference. I’ve been living in the USA for the past six years and had never been to a doctor before. I was very healthy, exercised regularly, and ate quite well. So, I did not want to spend a dime at the doctor’s office. The first sudden change was my doctor’s visits. Since I’m pregnant, I want to go to the doctor to be sure our baby is healthy and growing as expected.

Our Body Changes:
We all know that our bodies will be transformed during and after our pregnancy. Even though we don’t have control over certain changes, we can still improve the process and try to gain only the necessary and acceptable weight for our babies. What made me sad is that so many pregnant ladies were emotionally and mentally very upset and losing sleep about their look and weight gain. It is not a beauty contest or competition, so our goal should be to have a healthy pregnancy and accept our weight gain. Once we have our kids, we can go back to our routine and have a fit body. At least, this is my plan. I accepted that I would have some stretch marks and weight gain. As long as my baby and I are healthy, this situation won’t bother me.

Work-Life:
I’m one of the lucky moms-to-be. I have a decent income and a job that I like. Even though the past six months were very stressful, my pregnancy did not impact my performance. My concern was the programs I managed and their milestones and how their dates would align with my due date. I will be away from work for three months, so before my maternity leave, I’m doing my best to plan my program schedules, and I’m trying to manage my workload. When we have a job we deeply care about with a good income, we also think about our job situations more. So, this is one of the downsides of having a kid at a later age. When I look at the forum discussions, some people didn’t have jobs or relied on their parents and partners. So, it is one of the biggest challenges for young moms.

Screening for Syndromes (Down, Edward, and Patau):
This is one of the challenging subjects, and it can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, genes, and family history. I did not go through any screening because the result of the tests wouldn’t change my mind. Besides, these tests give a certain percentage of the possibilities that our babies may have any of these syndromes; they are not 100% accurate. Even thinking about it was scary, so I searched a little bit and found out that having any of these syndromes is increasing day by day. I saw some posts that some parents ended their pregnancy based on their screening results; it broke my heart, but I respect everyone’s decision. The only thing I can do is to pray for a healthy kid for everyone, including myself.

What to eat, drink, or smoke:
The things that are not good for our body are not good for our babies. So, I was shocked to see the discussion forums because some of the moms ask each other how many glasses of wine are OK to drink or if they can smoke marijuana. I don’t smoke and drink. Even if I did, I would stop once I decided to have a kid. Our babies are very vulnerable, so smoking, drinking, and eating unhealthily may harm them. I wish everyone was more mindful because we are all blessed to have a kid, and we should be grateful and take care of them well.

On the other hand, I learned that some healthy-looking food could be harmful during pregnancy, such as green papaya and hibiscus tea. I love green papaya salad and ate each time I go to a Thai restaurant or even made it home. So I was glad I found out about this early in my pregnancy and stopped consuming it. After this it became a habit for me to search what I can eat or not during pregnancy.

Baby Registry and Gifts
I was surprised to see so many new moms were obsessed with their baby registries and baby showers. Many of them were very upset not receiving the gifts or not having many attendees for their baby showers. To me, no one has to buy anything for my kids, including my parents and my husband’s parents. It is my child, and I’m fully responsible for whatever she needs.

Overall, I see more benefits having a kid when we are older because, as we age, we get wiser and worry about more important things. My only concern is being healthy and having a healthy baby. I will continue to enjoy my pregnancy journey until we finally meet our daughter in December.

My sweet Hubby while taking the sunrise picture at Hilton Head Beach

When I was a kid taking a vacation meant visiting my grandparents and helping them on the farm. It was fun because I liked the village life where my grandparents lived. My expectations changed when I became a teenager. I wanted to go to a beach or family vacation, which never happened because my parents wanted to see or felt obligated to visit their relatives and parents.

I never thought I would feel the same way when I grew up. Unfortunately, I sometimes do. However, it doesn’t change my decision about my vacation plans because I strongly believe that we all should have some quality time doing  what we prefer. So, I do my best not to let my mom try to control me 5000 km away.  I prefer traveling to different places, discovering new cultures and new cuisines, and spending time with my husband rather than using it for family visits.

This year was extraordinary. Because of the Covid 19 pandemic, we couldn’t plan our vacation the way we dreamed of. We still did our best to make it fun with the current circumstances. We did not want to take a flight during the pandemic, so we planned a two-week road trip . Considering we’ve been working from home since March, we were ready to get away from Michigan.

First, we traveled from Michigan to Pittsburgh, which was a lovely stop. It is a beautiful city; we had no idea of the topography of the city, which was quite hilly. We also had a chance to see our friends who lived there. We had a lovely time discovering a new destination.

Then, we visited Washington, DC, which was lovely. However, the museums and some of the other capital’s attractions were closed. It was still worth it to stop there. The food was delicious, and we had a chance to try some Turkish restaurants around the area. We walked quite a lot and took advantage of the beautiful weather.

Washington, DC, Washington Monument

Our next stop was Virginia Beach, which was only 4 hours away from Washington DC. We did not have a lot of expectations. We did not want to drive very long, so we used Virginia Beach as a stopping point. Even though it was rainy, it didn’t bother us. Also, we had one of the best breakfasts of our trip. We walked by the beach and had a relaxing time. The best part of Virginia Beach was shopping. There was a lovely outlet center, which we ended up shopping for around 5 hours because the prices were irresistible.

Java Surf Cafe and Espresso Bar, Virginia Beach

Virginia Beach Walk

During the rest of the trip, we visited Raleigh, Charleston, Atlanta, Hilton Head Island, Cincinnati, and Columbus. While my husband was driving, I was like a little kid trying to find restaurants at which we could eat. We loved North Carolina and Hilton Head a lot, which made us think of moving to that area in the future. The nature was beautiful where ever we went, and even just driving from one state to another state was worth it. We exercised, discovered new places, and tried so many new restaurants. It was a good break, which boosted our energy and motivation.

Tennis game at Raleigh, Pullen Park

We were happy because we were finally away from our home and didn’t have to think or talk about our work. Also, taking a road trip allowed us to talk about our future plans and listen to some audiobooks and current news. It was a great feeling knowing that we did not have to call into any meetings for a while or would not be  dragged into another urgent issue at work. Even though we were aware that our busy work was waiting for us, it was a great relief to be able to stay away from our laptops and work e-mails. What is more, it reminded us life is not all about our little world in Michigan.

Hilton Head Island

Regardless of how much we love our homes, where we live, or our jobs, we all need to take a break from our regular routine and take a vacation. Taking a break or going on a vacation doesn’t mean running away from our busy work and everyday chores; it means taking the chance to evaluate our lives and have some quality time away from our routine. If we use this time wisely, we can have a more fulfilled and motivated life when we are back from our vacation.

Overall, I believe that taking a vacation and having some quality time that makes us happy and refreshed is a great investment for our well-being. As Matthew Karsten says beautifully, “Investment in travel is an investment in yourself”, because once we refresh our minds, we will have a better approach and renewed energy which  to tackle everything  which is in front of us.