Life Coaching

“The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow.”

  John Maxwell

Do you work after work hours, even sometimes at the weekends? There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Most of the time, we all do what feels right. In the past, I was heavily against working overtime. When I had to, I used to complain to my family and kept thinking about the people around me who got paid as much as I did, and who didn’t work as hard as I did. Not only would I feel angry but also, I would feel unhappy. This is another example of how we become unhappy by comparing ourselves with others. Finally, I learned to focus on myself, which took me more than ten years. I still work overtime. However, I’m happy to be able to complete my tasks because I see it as my responsibility. The question is, how can we work longer hours without feeling annoyed and still have time for our ourselves and our families?

The first mistake we all make is trying to separate our work and personal life. However, it is not possible to unplug our minds after work. Our personal lives impact our work life as much as our work lives impact our personal lives. So, we need to learn to be flexible and adapt to the new circumstances at home and at work instead of focusing on the idea of work-life balance. For example, if we have urgent customer deliverables or delays in our projects, we can check our e-mails and work on the uncompleted tasks after spending some time with our family. So, even if we end up working several hours at home, giving a break will refresh our minds and help us to approach our work with a positive attitude. If not, our minds will keep thinking about unfinished tasks and unanswered e-mails.

The second mistake we make is trying to avoid the issues and late tasks. When we go home, we can stop thinking about work; however, the next day, the same issues and even more tasks will be waiting for us. So, regardless of the time, weekdays or weekends, the best thing is to get things done and empty our minds. This will allow us to feel in control instead of feeling lost and confused at work. At least that’s what works for me.

The third mistake we make is being annoyed by others at work. In the work environment, we have all kinds of people, and not all of them feel the same responsibility and ownership of their job. This was the hardest to learn because wherever I have worked, there have been people who have found time to chat for hours about non-work-related issues, watch YouTube videos, shop online, study for their degrees, and come to work 9:00 am and leave at 3:00 pm. I accepted this reality, and I can’t change this fact. So, when I struggled to finish my tasks after a long working day and brought work home, I couldn’t help myself and hated my life.

Finally, this year, I learned to focus on my job and myself. Everyone is responsible for their actions, and if they feel comfortable the way they spend their time at work, it is their problem. It sounds simple, but it is not easy to apply. Back in February, my husband and I took a course called  The science of well-being, which had a huge impact on us. It showed us that most of the time, people were unhappy not because of themselves but because of the other people around them. For example, they observed employee happiness and satisfaction before and after sharing with them how much their colleagues were making. If their colleagues were making more than them, their happiness and performance level changed drastically. The course shared many other eye-opening scientific studies and surveys that woke me up to the fact that that’s what I was doing all these years.

Another surprising example was in one study, and they found out that if your neighbor purchases a new car, most likely you will change your car in six months. This is another example of how we let others impact our life and happiness. If we can learn not to focus on others’ salaries, homes, and attitudes, we will have better lives.

Another mistake we make is trying to keep things in our minds. Countless researchers suggest that when we remember to send an e-mail, buy something, and plan for a meeting, or when we feel angry, we should write it down and empty our minds. They even recommend to keep a notepad next to our bed, so we can jot down anything which pops into our mind. For example, over the past few weeks, I had to work in the evenings and weekends because I had so many tasks that I needed to review, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving them undone. On Friday morning, I woke up at 4:00 am and found myself thinking about work. I tried, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. I woke my husband up around 5:00 am, since he has 7:00 am meetings on Fridays. We decided to take a quick walk to get some fresh air. We were both happy because we started our day early, planned our day, and wrote down what we needed to do. The best part was I didn’t think about anything or anyone else other than having a productive day to be able to enjoy our weekend.

Overall, it is all up to us how we approach our work and perform it. If it helps us feel better and accomplish our task more efficiently, it is Ok to work overtime. As long as we understand our responsibilities and have an optimistic approach to our work, we will eventually show our differences and feel successful and fulfilled with our jobs and lives. In the end, we have one life to live, so we should focus on ourselves and make the best of our work and home life instead of trying to find a work-life balance or comparing ourselves with others. As  John Maxwell says, “The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow.”

Every week I learn something new when watching soccer games. I watched soccer before, but supporting a team is a totally new experience. My husband and I support Aston Villa, and our team is very close to the relegation zone. To tell the truth, since we were promoted to the Premier League, every game has been a battle, and we’re not playing very well. We all accepted that there are no easy games in this league, but I feel like our team are not putting in enough effort.

We still have eleven games before the end of the season. So, I want to believe that things will get better, and we will stay in the Premier League. On the other hand, I feel like we do not have the right team. I’m aware that I may seem harsh on the players by saying this, but I have two good reasons for this point of view. First of all, I am not a soccer expert, so I am not going to talk about how to build a good soccer team. Besides that, I’m still learning the rules and trying to understand it better. But I am a program manager and I work with teams that do not report to me directly but work for my programs. And I know very well how team members contribute to our success.

We played Tottenham two weeks ago. We were to win the game but at least come away with a point. Even though we played pretty well, we lost the game after conceding Hyeung-Min Son’s 94th-minute winner. He looked happy when he scored the goal, but we all could see the pain on his face. Later on, we found out that he played with a fractured arm, and in this condition, he played the entire before scoring a last-minute goal for his team. Who would not want to have a team player like that? It was awe-inspiring and an excellent example for all other footballers.

Last week, we faced another critical game, this time against Southampton. In the first half, one of our players, Anwar El Ghazi, fell to the ground with an apparent facial injury. It seemed to me as if he was poked in the eye, but did not seem too serious. He lay on the pitch several minutes, whilst receiving treatment, while our frustrated captain wanted him off the pitch to allow Villa to continue. Shortly after, El Ghazi was substituted because he felt he could not carry on. The problem was that we did not have anyone who could replace him, and we needed him.

Why didn’t he continue playing? Was his condition critical? I cannot answer these questions. However, when our team are in a relegation battle, I expected all the team members to show desire to win. If we lost the game, we could have said at least we played well. He did not try to get back to the game. At that moment, I hoped that we could win without him and show him he was not that important. We could make things happen without him.

The same day, the same game, a Southampton player, Moussa Djenepo, also fell to the ground with a head injury. He was hit badly, and he was clearly bleeding. It took him 2 minutes to get to his feet. So, how could we expect to win against this team? A team that really wanted to win the game. Another sad truth was, they were not even in the relegation zone. They wouldn’t lose anything if they lost the game. Also, they weren’t one of the best team, and we were as good as they were if our team members had the right attitude.

We lost the game.

With this third incident, while we were watching the game, I had my aha moment.  Watching soccer showed me one more time that having the right people in your team is the key for the success.  It is very similar to our work life. We rely on each other; as our team members’ actions impact our success. When we have an urgent deadline, we may have to stay longer at work, or we go to work even we are sick, or even our kids are sick.

When our footballer was leaving the pitch, while holding his eyes, I was thinking about teamwork. I wished to see blood or something that could have made me feel less upset with him. Less than 30 minutes in the game, he had quit on his team. If we do not have dedicated footballers who understand their responsibility, we will continue to lose and end up relegated from the Premier League.

I know we all need good leaders, managers and coaches, but if a team member does not want to be part of the team, the world’s best manager can’t make it happen. Regardless of the situation and sector, if a team member costs us continuously a game or a project, we should let them go. In our case, El- Ghazi’s attitude may cost Aston Villa their Premier League status.

I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

If I find out El Ghazi had brain damage or loss of sight because of the tackle, I will write another post about why we like judging people too quickly. At this moment, I could not see any news related to his situation.  He does not want to be part of the team and he does not deserve to put on Aston Villa shirt.

PMP is the abbreviation for Project Management Professional. It is a globally recognized certification that shows as a program manager; you know what you are doing. However, there are many program managers out there who have extensive knowledge and experience without the PMP certification. In other words, is having a PMP certification beneficial? Let’s review and decide together to see if it matters or not.

In my early career, I started work as a project leader. Just before I started, the company had been awarded its very first global project. They needed someone who could speak English with a technical background. I was very inexperienced. I did not question many aspects of the Job. Looking back, I could have asked for training, mentoring, or more support. Nothing seemed to be available, and I did not know what I needed to know. Previous projects were internal projects that were managed by e-mails. I felt lost. When I found out I was on my own, I used Google to search for everything. I would have searched and created something new whenever our customers asked for anything new. If they were happy, I knew I did something right. Needless to say, I was not aware of the PMI organization. If I had known about it, that could have been very beneficial for me. Later on, I found out that Project Management Institute had a PMP handbook.  Even having it could have helped me and guided me. This was 12 years ago. Many things changed since then. Now, Google provides much more information than ever. 

When I moved to the United States, I worked in manufacturing and quality departments, but deep inside, I missed working as a Project Manager. When I looked at the opportunities, most of them were looking for the PMP certification. It was another challenge because I worked on projects without structures. For this reason, I had to combine my experiences with the PMI project structures, even sometimes needing to forget what I had known and learning the right way.

The certification exam contains five sections: initiation, planning, execution, monitoring, and closing. Other than these must-know steps, you need to know cross-functional skills such as active listening, facilitation, delegation, conflict management, etc. Not to mention, it is a 5-hour 200 question exam. Besides, it does not ask yes-no questions. It has so many situational questions from real-world examples. It took me more than a year to feel. During this process, I learned a lot, but the exam stress was overwhelming, and it was a hard exam. Luckily, I passed my exam in my first attempt. However, I wouldn’t try again if I failed.  I didn’t think that I could do any better or work any harder. Not only was it an expensive exam, but also it was extremely tough. I was fortunate that my HR manager supported my professional development and paid for the exam, which was around $500.

Was it worth it? It was; I think it only helped me to have more job interviews. On its own, isn’t that a good reason to have it?  But as PMI states, did I get paid 25% more than my other colleagues just because I have PMP? Not at all. It didn’t have any impact whatsoever.

On the other hand, the certification is valid for only three years. PMI requires you to renew your certification, which means you need to complete 60 PDUs, which could be courses, training, or workshops. In addition to that, you need to pay a re-certification fee of $150. After learning this, I will ask the same question again, is it worth it? It is. Keeping your certification active means during the 3 – year, you need to complete 60 PDUs on technical, strategic, leadership, and business subjects. It pushes you to learn continually.

If you are a program manager, PMP is good to have. However, it does not mean you are any better than PMs who do not have it. Is having the certification worth it or not?  Again, it is really up to you.  If you are new to the PM world, it is a great guide. Also, to keep the certification active, you need to continue taking courses, so if you like learning and want to be up-to-date with the latest courses, it is right for you. On the other hand, if you are thinking that you will increase your salary by 25% by having it, good luck with that. Neither I nor my colleagues at other companies had any salary increase.

I’m adding the PMP requirements for your review. Maybe it will be your new challenge!

PMP Exam Content Outline (Current)