Life Coaching

Last week, I listened to two similar work problems from two of my good friends. They are both hard-working and easy-going people. Their stories were repeating issues with the same difficult people that they had issues with before. They were sad, and I was helpless. All week, I could not help myself and thought about their problems. I was having a hard time understanding what kind of adults create conflicts on purpose, treat others unfairly, and act like nothing is wrong with their manners. I guess these people are often suffering and unhappy themselves. I hope they can get help. The question is, “How can we protect our mental health while working with these difficult people in a negative environment?”

Since one of the biggest contributors to our mental health issues are work environment, let’s review how many hours do we really spend working each day? We may think we work eight to ten hours when we consider the actual time we spend at work. What about the conflicts and work issues we carry in our minds where ever we go? We are human and we can’t shut off our brains as we do to our work computer. So, when we have a bad day at work, we keep thinking about the issues and replay the conversations in our minds. This situation always impacts our personal life.

The best thing that we can do is stop playing the victim and take responsibility for our happiness at work and at home. We may think that we’re not creating the issues at work, so how can we fix them? First, we must admit that problems and people will not disappear overnight. However, we can focus on good things about our work and life. Moreover, difficult people are probably difficult with most other people, so the best thing we can do is not take it personally.

On the other hand, we should make sure that we are not contributing to the problems by any means. We all should be aware of office politics, but we do not have to be part of it. Our goal should be creating a healthy work environment for ourselves. However, if it is not possible, looking for other options is a choice as well. We all deserve to be treated fairly and respectfully.

We can also improve our well-being by practicing meditation, gratitude, kindness, connection and healthy habits that can help our overall life.

The impact of my conversations led me to read one of my favorite books,’ The four agreement’ by Don Miguel Ruiz again. It is a beautiful book that can rebuild your self-confidence and gives you a direction for your work-related issues. Here is the summary of the four agreements, and for more details, I highly recommend reading it.

• Be impeccable with your word.
• Don’t take anything personally.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

Celebrate your small wins and big wins. Step by step, you will be where you want to be. When you achieve your goal, do not jump into a new task or goal. Do not rush, simply celebrate all your hard work. When you review your progress and see how far you come, it feels even better. Another part of your celebration can be creating a “lesson learned” where you can jot down what you have learned, and what you will do differently in the future.
I’m not a big celebrator, but I ‘m trying to learn to become one. I’m in the progress of learning to stay calm and not rush to the next item that is on my list and enjoy the results of my hard work. Our goals do not define us. We can adjust them, change them the way it feels right. The point is, we need to still enjoy our current life while creating better opportunities for us professionally and personally. We all should take the time to celebrate all the accomplishments and even failures. As long as we try our best, we ill have new paths to lead us to success.
Things may take longer than you hoped for. At that point, consider this recommendation from a book I am reading. It says, “Whenever your chatterbox is making you feel impatient, ask it, “What’s the rush? It’s all happening perfectly. Don’t worry. When I am ready to move forward I will. In the meantime, I am taking it all in and I am learning.”
*Ref: Feel the Fear… And Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

It matters where shop. It matters for different reasons. We may have emotional, habitual or convenience reasons for each type of shopping experience. However, for the majority of us, the most important reason that has an impact on our decision is the cost.

Let’s talk about the grocery shopping. Regardless of the season, time of the week or day, shopping for food is a must, and we have so many options. So, how can we pick the best choice? To be honest If I was very rich, I would go for Whole Foods, since it is not the case the best alternative for me is Aldi. I will share with you the reasons why I shop at Aldi, and also why you may consider it too. At least pay a visit, and see what Aldi is all about.

I started shopping at Aldi 4 years ago when it first opened in the town I lived. At first, I was pretty skeptical for many reasons. First of all, I was not familiar with the brand at all. Later on, I learned that it was based in Germany and has so many chain supermarkets all around the world, including the UK.

Second, I was questioning the prices, which were considerably lower than the other stores, such as Sam’s Club, Kroger, Meier and Walmart. In addition to that, the fresh produce, other dry food, and frozen food brands were new to me. Also, there were limited options and choices. However, after a few visits, I was hooked because I could buy organic vegetables cheaper than anywhere else, and still spend less money than I used to spend for my grocery shopping.

It was a life changer for me, because I used to do my grocery shopping based on the price tags. Sometimes, when I was about to buy something, I would realize that the price of the item was higher than I was willing to pay and put the item back to its shelf. Not anymore, especially when I am shopping at Aldi. I feel like shopping at Aldi made me not worry about the money that I spend on my food. Also, it makes feel wealthy and more positive.

I like their products, and also, I do not pay a fortune to eat organic food. I am very happy that they just opened a new location where our Gym is located. So, all my reasons came together to shop at Aldi; good location, good prices and organic food choices.  If you do not want to pay more and get less, you must try Aldi. It is not an ordinary American store; it will take time to get used to it, but each time it will get better. You will love the feeling when you are paying at the cash register.

Financial freedom is important. We all want to spend our money mindfully, save for our future, find the ways to invest and feel comfortable with our finances. Some of us do better than others. However, there should be a fine balance for how much we should spend, and how much we should save.

I learned to save money at an early age. I was raised in a family where we always had to think one step ahead and about tomorrow. I grew up with this mindset, and came to a point that all I thought about was saving money and my future. Back in 2016, I went to Chicago, beautiful weather, beautiful city. I was recommended to visit a roof top brunch restaurant. I waited 30 minutes to be seated, and finally it was time to order my breakfast. Unfortunately, it took me at least 20 min to decide what to eat. The menu was very limited and the prices were extremely high. Even though I was making decent money, I was not used to eating out, and paying over $40 for a simple breakfast was not acceptable even in Chicago. On one hand, I was ashamed of leaving the restaurant. On the other hand, I did not see the meaning in paying a fortune for a simple breakfast. I felt uncomfortable, and ended up ordering an egg benedict which was $18, and a cup of tea for $12. That day I promised myself I would learn to spend money.  My problem was when I spent, I would feel guilty and sad. I needed to spend and enjoy the money I was making. It was hard to break my habit and it took 3 years.  Finally, I started to spend more. Also, when I eat out, I’ve stopped ordering the cheapest meal on the menu. I still review the prices, but I order what I prefer and like the best.   Not only did I start to spend more money, but also, I learned to enjoy spending.

I still enjoy saving money, and I’m trying to do it in a healthy way.  I have still areas that l need to improve, because I still do not know how to have a balance.

Here are the 5 steps that were recommended by the top financial advisors, which can remind and guide us to manage our financial status better

1. Spend less than you make.

I know it is easy to say, and we know it already, but maybe today is the day. It is simple math. To be able to save, we should spend less than our income.

2. Track your spending.

We need to be aware where our money goes. We can write on a notebook, use an excel file, or use an app. There are so many apps available such as account patrol https://www.accountpatrol.com/ .By tracking our spending, we can find our fixed expenses and variable expenses. Our fixed expenses are our expenses that we must have, such as mortgage, insurance. etc. We may not be able to adjust these expenses, so we need to focus on our variable expenses, the expenses that we can adjust such as gym membership, movie, eating out. By recording our expenses, we can identify the ways to cut our spending. The easiest way to adjust our spending is pay all the fixed expenses and save 10% to 15 % min and spend the remaining amount. Using cash can create more awareness when you are shopping.

3. Pay all your credit cards’ debts.

It is important not to spend the money we do not have. Unfortunately, credit cards allow us to do so.  If we pay credit cards late, we end up paying more than we originally spent. Once you pay all your credit cards’ debts, you feel better. I am sure you will sleep better as well.

4. Invest

We can make our money work for us.  I wish I was an investment guru, but I am not.  However, I have savings accounts that I can recommend to everyone. At least we can all open a savings account where we can get 1.5% to 2% interest rates. And also, you can learn other ways to invest in the stock market, CD’s Bonds, etc.

These are the steps I am following.  However, we must remember that financial is all about balance. What works for one person, will not for everyone.  We have to learn to enjoy our money by spending on the things that we enjoy, while still saving for the future. I hope we all can achieve financial freedom and have a comfortable life style without worrying about our future.